Where Do I Go From Here?

After beginning this process back in November 2007, it is nice to know that I am approaching the 6th and final round of chemotherapy. Not to hurry time, but I'll be glad when it is over.

I'm well from the most recent infection, finishing the antibiotics yesterday. I am scheduled for the final three days of chemo next Wednesday through Friday. I suspect I'll breeze through because I've figured out the anti-nausea meds and there doesn't seem to be much cancer left, so the drugs go right through me without causing alot of physiological response. Dan is here for the final round.

After a battery of tests in July, I'll know how well the chemotherapy worked. I have a good feeling about it. And if running provides any hints, I had a great 5 mile trail run the other night. It actually felt easy and was fun. Yay! If the tests show I'm in remission, it is unknown how long the remission may last. This word used to not be said with this type of leukemia, Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia, CLL. In fact, in my medical records over the years, different oncologists have written, "Discussed - No possibility of remission". The word choice is "remission" not "cure". Currently, there isn't a cure for CLL using chemotherapy, although a bone marrow transplant using stem cells can sometimes offer a cure. The risk of dying from a bone marrow transplant is quite high, so it is a last ditch option. And yes, someday, I will most likely have to go through that process. If chemotherapy didn't work very well, then I'll be back on the treatment treadmill. Watching and waiting as the cancer grows and I'm so sick that I have to have chemotherapy again. The problem with chemotherapy and cancer is that the cancer is smart. Once it sees chemotherapy drugs it becomes resistant to those drugs and different ones have to be used. This is something I try not to think about, since I'm being treated with the "gold standard" of drugs, meaning this was my best chemotherapy treatment choice. However, I remain hopeful that I will go into a lasting remission that will buy me some time and as more research is done, more options will become available. And yes, I do believe someday that there will be a cure for Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.