A Conscious Choice

I am so thrilled to be in remission, that I have actually been able to forget about having leukemia for a bit (there is still .03% cancer in my bone marrow. yet I am considered in remission). I finished chemo in the beginning of June, however, the reality of the devastation of chemotherapy still looms large. I am pleased to have a jawline and svelte neck again, as my tumors have disappeared. Also, my running bras fit better since the golf ball tumors in my armpits are gone. I don't have as much fatigue, even though some days it still feels like I have molasses in my veins. I no longer have to sleep 10-12 hours a night followed by a 2 hour nap during the day. I am 100% better than I was--it is all relative--meaning, I was really sick. That said, I only have 1/3 of my immune system. The chemotherapy wiped out my bone marrow and was extremely hard on some key components of my immune system. So, even though I am in remission, I am still recovering. It could take up to a year for my immune system to bounce back.

I was fortunate to be able to travel to Croatia and Maui recently. When I went to Croatia, my oncologist gave me some ciprofloxacin (it's the serious antibiotic for serious infections--people hoarded it during the anthrax scare) and he told me, "Take this if you get any infection and go to a hospital". Not exactly the "bon voyage" you want to hear heading out on vacation. Well, I did get sick on the way home from Croatia, but was in the States before I needed medical attention (antibiotics for a cold that turned into a sinus infection).

Ok, so what are the real reasons I decided to add to my blog today after such a long hiatus. Well, two reasons, first, I realized people think that I am well with a fully functioning immune system, and second I had a tramatic incident today, which I made a conscious choice to do something about that may have not been so good for my health. On the second matter, to make a long story short, two of my dogs got in a fight today. It turned into a fight to the death battle. My big dog, Mocha, and my cuddly-bug Wiki got into it , with Mocha having the upper hand. Mocha clamped down on Wiki's throat and was suffocating her. I could hear the gurgling from Wiki, as she struggled to breathe. Before I tried to break them apart, I knew I would be putting my own health in jeopardy. Do I do nothing and let Mocha kill Wiki? Or do I step in and try my best to have a positive impact on events around me? I chose to be involved. Even though, I knew breaking the dog fight up might not be good for my health (I got 3 puncture wounds on my right hand, had x-rays and a tetanus shot, now on antibiotics, and need an immune boosting IV infusion to help fight the potential infection), I could never have lived with myself, if I had done nothing. And let me guess, you are right now saying to yourself, "Well, I never would have done that!". So, let me ask you, How often do stand on the sidelines and let things happen? Well, all I can say is---This is the only chance you get at this life! Make choices that make you feel good about being alive. That is what I have chosen to do; Live a full life with no regrets.

And if you're wondering, both dogs and me are fine. Mocha suffered a few bite wounds, but did not do any damage to Wiki. I think I got the worst of the bites, but I will heal.

Burning bright,
Wildwood Diva